Whoa Is Me  I'm So Whoa
by AllegroConSpirito
Summary: Catarina is willing to offer her brother's services to the Host Club in order to utilize Music Room #3 for her flirtatious rock band. Little did they know, Catarina is an expert in the art of "hosting", and she's not falling for their charm. KyoyaxOC.
1. Introduction

"Oh, wow. Fratello, isn't this school molto bello?" I asked my brother.

"Sì; it is quite magnificent."

"Oh, Antonio – it's perfect," I continued as a large smile adorned my face. "It's like I'm living some sort of fairy tale. It's so regal and…pink."

"Although beautiful architecturally, it does appear to be very… fruity."

"No doubt. But we'll knock some rock and roll into this place in no time," I winked.

* * *

My name is Catarina Honoka Rapsodia. I'm in my first year of high school by Japanese schooling, and I have just transferred to Ouran Academy. If you cannot tell from my name, I am half Italian and half Japanese. I was born here in Japan, but I spent most of my childhood up to age thirteen in Italy. After that, I moved to America to further my career in the music industry with my brother.

Antonio Yuuma Rapsodia is my twin brother. Like me, he was raised in Italy. My fratello and I are very close.

Oh, sorry – mi scusi. Even though I speak fluent Japanese, I tend to start speaking in Italiano.

Our father, Bartolomeo Rapsodia, is the owner of expensive clothing, cosmetics, and accessory lines as well as a large chain of Italian restaurants internationally. Our mother, Akemi Oshiro, is the head of a robotics company based in Japan but has spread worldwide. Although we are rich by blood, Antonio and I wanted to earn our money, which is why we got into the music business.

Our almost-all-girl band (with Antonio as our only male group) is quite successful in the States, but I'm not really sure if we're big in Japan. The girls are also joining us at Ouran.

I am the lead vocalist, although I play piano and acoustic guitar when needed. Antonio is the lead guitarist. The twins, Rayne and Snow, play the bass and rhythm guitar, respectively. Candy plays the keyboard and Teresa (or Teri for short) plays the drums. We're known as Metafiction.

* * *

"Buongiorno, Chairman Suoh," I smiled, walking into the head office with my brother.

"Ah, you two must be the Rapsodia twins. I'm sorry, did I pronounce that correctly?" he asked as he turned around to greet us with a smile.

"Sì, Signore," I smiled. "Oh, scusate; I meant to say 'yes sir'."

He laughed heartedly. "It is quite alright. You came to pick up the uniforms for you and your other friends, correct?"

"Sì," Antonio and I chorused.

Chairman Suoh led us to a room where they stored all the uniforms for purchase. The boy's uniform looked lovely, but the girl's…

Antonio snickered as I examined at the tacky, yellow monstrosity they called a dress with a look of sheer anguish.

"Is something wrong, Miss?" Chairman Suoh asked.

"I think my father will be upset with me if I wear something this… schifoso…," I said, sadly, hiding the word disgusting in Italian so not to upset the Chairman. "Oh, sorry –" I said softly when the Chairman looked at me in confusion. "I just forgot the word in English. Antonio, help me."

"She meant to say something along the lines of 'family'. Our father is a designer and he holds pride that we wear his work for uniform, especially Catarina," he said, glaring at me when the Chairman looked away. He hates having to bullshit on the spot since it usually sounds stupid.

"Yes, I completely understand!" Chairman Suoh exclaimed. "Children should always respect the parents' wishes first and foremost!"

"We appreciate your leniency, Signore. Will it be alright if my friends dress in similar uniform to me? They're American so this clothing is very strange to them, and I do not want them to feel uncomfortable," I smiled sweetly, hoping he'll fall for my bullshit excuse. What? Can you blame me? I don't want my friends wearing that disgusting dress!"

"Yes, as long as you keep it looking similar every day. I'll inform the teachers of this," he smiled. "Antonio, will you be doing this also?"

"No thank you, sir. I don't want to stand out, but I appreciate your offer," Antonio replied, bowing.

I bowed as well. "Thank you very much, Signore."

"Anytime, anytime," the Chairman said kindly. "Let me know if you ever need anything."

"Actually…," I began, softly.

"Yes, Catarina?"

"Is there a free music room for us to practice on a daily basis?"

"No, I'm afraid not. But the Host Club may be willing to share Music Room #3. Why don't you ask them?"

"Host-"

"-Club…?" Antonio and I said in unison.

Oh, boy. Things just got a hell of a lot stranger…

* * *

_Thank you for reading the introduction to my new fanfic! I hope the use of few Italian words won't lead readers astray. The words are very basic, but if it is requested, I can put a glossary at the end of each chapter to translate some of the words or short phrases I use. For anyone wondering, the band's name is a reference to Vic Mignogna's album of the same name._

_This fanfiction will be very involved with song lyrics, considering the use of the main character as a musician. Apart from the first few chapters, once the plot settles in, the lyrics of songs will be significant aspects to the story-line, so please don't consider it just fluffing to give my stories a higher word count. I believe that music expresses so much more emotion than just direct dialogue, and I hope to really let that show. I want the lyrics I choose to tell the story better than if I were to just explain it. Reviews would be greatly appreciated; I hope that everyone will enjoy this story. I will work hard to please the readers._


	2. Making A Deal

_Sorry that this is a day or so late. If you haven't seen from my profile, this story is updated weekly. That **might** change if I get better reception for this story, but until then, it will remain weekly. Also, since it hasn't been requested, Italian words will not be translated in a glossary. If you want to know, review and let me know. Also, this is the first instances of the story where the perspective changes. They won't be very frequent, and if it isn't stated right off, it's in Catarina's perspective, and if it changes, it will be noted, and the same if it changes back to Catarina. But I don't think I'll switch perspective that much. Maybe two times in one chapter if ever._

* * *

"I see... So this _Host Club_ thing uses the specific qualities of men to please the paying female guests," I said, scrolling through the information I found on the club's website.

"How dare they?" Rayne and Snow shouted in unison.

"That's just disgusting!" Snow growled.

"They're no better than cheap whores!" Rayne added.

"I can't believe they'd just use women like that," Candy said softly.

"Yeah, what creeps," Teri stated further.

"Come on, guys," Antonio intervened. "It's not like they have sex with them. They just entertain girls, mostly through compliments. It's not a bawdy house. Snobby, rich girls just give them money to be fawned over."

"It's still disgusting," the twins puffed, crossing their arms.

"What's most important now is that we need to figure out how we'll be able to get that music room...," I muttered, tapping the edge of my pen against my lip.

"Considering how much money they make, I don't think they'll be willing to give up their room," Candy pointed out as she removed the wrapping of a chocolate bar.

"Yeah," Teri nodded, leaning against the wall near Candy.

"If we're going to use that room, we'll have to share it with them," Snow said, shrugging.

"And I don't think they'll be willing to share their fancy, little club room with a rock band," Rayne added, mimicking her sister's shrugging movement.

Antonio sighed. "In that case, there's only one thing to do. We're going to have to make a deal with them."

"But what can we offer?" the twins asked, draping their arms around Antonio's shoulders.

"I know just the thing...," I muttered, giving Antonio a look.

"Wh-why are you looking at me like that...?" he asked, nervously.

"You know what they said, Antonio," I smirked, walking up to my brother. "_When in Rome, do as the Romans do_."

"I don't like where this is going..."

* * *

"Come here, Antonio," I instructed, adjusting my brother's tie and fixing his hair.

"I can't believe you're making me to this...," Antonio sighed as I applied soft blush to his cheeks.

"Cheer up, fratello. This will benefit everyone. Do this for the band," I replied with a smile.

We turned to face the large doors in front of us. The sign above it read _Music Room #3_.

"Are you sure about this...?"

"Sì, sì!" I grinned. "Please, fratello; take a leap of faith."

He sighed heavily. "Dio, help me..."

I turned the doorknob and opened the large doors. I was greeted by a bright light and a burst of flower petals and then I heard a chime of a group of young men.

"Welcome," they smiled, bowing.

"Oh, a new face," one of the boys stated. He sat in the middle of the group. "Welcome, Princess, to our little slice of heaven – Ouran's very own Host Club. And if I may ask, beautiful lady, what is your name?"

"Ciao, belli," I smiled and bowed. "My name is Catarina Honoka Rapsodia. I am new to this school, and I heard of your club and wished to see what it was all about."

"Well, Princess, what kind of men are you into?" the center-piece asked.

"Yes, we have members that display many different attributes," one of the hosts with glasses said. "I guarantee you will find someone who will be at your standards."

"Che bello! How very lovely," I exclaimed with fake enthusiasm, translating the Italian that slipped out.

I stepped closer to examine the hosts.

"I see," I muttered, looking at two of the boys. "A boy Lolita and a strong silent type. Not very creative, but I must admit that you two must make quite a team."

"Hi," the boy Lolita called out, waving from the strong silent type's shoulders. "I'm Mitzkuni but you can call me Honey!" he beamed. "This is Usa-chan! Would you like some cake? Oh, this is my cousin, Takeshi."

"Call me Mori," he replied shortly and went back to not saying anything.

I nodded and bowed. "Pleased to meet you," I smiled, and then turned to continue my examination.

I came face-to-face with a pair of ginger twins.

"Kaoru-"

"-and Hikaru."

"At your service," they said in unison and bowed, each handing me a rose, rising with grins plastered onto their faces.

"Let me guess; mischievous types?" I asked and they nodded in response. "I must say, that is quite attractive, but the whole homosexual, incestuous taboo crap is a major turn-off."

Hikaru and Kaoru's jaws dropped. It seems as though these hosts are completely oblivious to the reality that not all women are into their gimmicks.

Leaving the twins in shock, I turned to the next boy.

"Yeah, I wouldn't waste your time," he said, smiling. "They're a bunch of weirdos." After hearing the voice, I felt recognition.

"A woman incognito?" I asked, turning to the blonde leader. "Are you serious? How could you subject a girl to your egotistical bullshit?" I continued, rudely.

"Sh-she swore at me!" the blonde screeched.

"Hmph," I sighed. "Some princely type."

His eyes widened, and in shock, he went to sulk in a corner.

"You didn't have to go off on Tamaki-sempai like that," the girl said, laughing slightly. "I'm doing this because it'll be easier to pay back my debt. My name's Haruhi," she smiled, extending your hand. "I'm in your class."

I smiled and took her hand. "So it seems."

"Wait?"

"She is?" The twins asked, taking turns to talk.

"You two are idiots," Haruhi sighed.

I turned and approached the last boy.

He bowed and then took my hand. "My name is Kyoya Ootori," he smiled, and then kissed my hand.

"Ah, a cool type," I smiled, taking off his glasses to look into his dark eyes. "Yes, you're getting closer...," I said, but then sighed. "But I must say I'm very disappointed."

"Disappointed?" Tamaki screeched, recovering from his rejection.

I shook my head. "How very pathetic. You really think every lady would fall for this garbage? How can you be missing such a crucial element?"

Kyoya's cool attitude faded for a quick moment as he scoffed at me. "Please, enlighten us."

"You don't have a musician."

"BZZZ!" Hikaru and Kaoru shouted, crossing their arms into x-shapes. "The Boss already has that covered."

"No, no. You need a rock star."

"A rock star...?" Tamaki asked.

"Yeah. Someone rough around the edges. Rises up through the ashes. Rebellious. Aggressive, but still capable of tenderness. Someone with a strong passion for music that he can redirect for women. Day dreaming for new song ideas. And really, what woman wouldn't love being serenaded on guitar? You need someone like this. And not just any rock star; one that can work all angles."

"All angles?" Honey asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Of course! There are many elements to the rock star. You can have the cutesy, pure types; those who write gushy love songs on an acoustic guitar and, or have had a troubled past in love. The punk; rebellious and hardcore, so you can connect it to the naughty type. The Rock 'n' Roll'r; a ladies man – likes to play around, kind of a flirt. And there's so many more. Possibilities are endless!"

The club all pondered in silence for a short moment.

"Gentlemen, let me introduce you to Antonio," I smiled, stepping to the side.

My brother's head was hung. With his left hand, he held the strap to his guitar case that rested on his shoulder and then pushed his long, dark hair back with his right hand as he raised his head. "Hey, call me Tony." He released his hair, leaving it a ruffled mess.

"Isn't he perfect?" I squealed, hugging him. "And I'm willing to let you have him."

"What's the catch?" Kyoya asked, pushing up his glasses.

"Never skip a beat, do you, bello?" I asked, smirking. "Well, as you know, I am a musician myself. And unfortunately, all the music rooms are occupied. So, my fratello will contribute to your Host Club so long as this room is shared between both your club and our band."

"We cannot accept such an offer until we are sure he can deliver," Kyoya stated, bluntly.

"Sì, sì; understandable," I smiled, nodding.

"Tomorrow he will have his trial. If he performs satisfactory, he will become a Host, and you, in turn, will share our music room," Tamaki declared with a smile.

"Bravo, bravo!" I exclaimed. "I assure you; my brother does not disappoint. Come, Antonio," I said, turning to my brother. "I will see you all tomorrow then, sì?"

With our business taken care of, Antonio and I departed from the music room.

"You know, I don't appreciate you whoring me out for rehearsal space...," Antonio sighed.

"Zitto, fratello," I smiled. "It will all be worth it in the end."

* * *

_Kyoya's Perspective_

"Hey, Boss," Hikaru started.

"Are you sure about this?" Kaoru finished.

"Of course! One can never have too many aces up their sleeve," Tamaki answered.

"But Boss-"

"-what if their rock music scares off the guests?" they continued, now in unison.

"I doubt that."

"And maybe the guests will be threatened by Catarina," Kaoru pointed out.

"What? How?" Tamaki asked.

"Well, she _is_ smokin' hot," Hikaru smirked.

"Oh, yeah," Kaoru smiled in response.

Tamaki sighed. "Is that really all you two think about?"

"They're right, Tama-chan," Honey smiled, eating a piece of cake. "Rina-chan is really cute."

"Yeah," Mori added.

"I never denied her beauty. I just wish the twins took this issue a little more seriously."

Haruhi sighed. "Well, this is better than you talking about me."

I was jotting down some notes into my book while the three discussed the situation, and I closed my notebook, feeling it was time for me to contribute my two-cents to the subject.

"I agree with the twins," I stated. "The students that attend Ouran are from rich families. If they are interested in music, it would most likely be classic music. This devil's music may prove to be unpopular with the ladies. But –"

Everyone looked at me as I smiled to myself.

"Antonio, on the other hand, _would_ be a perfect addition to our club."

"Well, Semapi," Hikaru began, wrapping his arm around Kaoru's shoulder.

"It's gotta be one or the other," Kaoru continued, mirroring his brother's movements.

"They're right, Kyo-chan," Honey said softly. "You can't have your cake and eat it too."

"Yeah," Mori added.

"I have a plan, though," I smirked, pushing up my glasses.

"What are you thinking, Kyoya?" Tamaki asked.

"Once we accept Antonio into the club, we make things difficult for the band. _Very_ difficult. Sooner or later, they'll choose to leave, and we'll keep Antonio."

"That doesn't seem right," Tamaki replied, nervously. "They'd catch on and Antonio might leave if he sees us mistreating his sister."

"Then the only other course of action –" I sighed in response to Tamaki. "– is for one of us to get friendly with her. Perhaps being in a relationship with one of us will be too much to bear considering we'll still tend to our guests. She'll end up leaving in heartbreak."

"In that case...," the twins smirked as they spoke together. "We'll take one for the team."

"Guys, that's cruel," Haruhi said sternly. "You can't play with a girl's heart like that."

The twins stuck their tongues out at her, expressing that they didn't care.

"Haruhi is right," Tamaki nodded. "This plan has to be gentlemanly. The job of a high school host is to make every girl happy."

"I'm afraid there's no other choice," I sighed.

"Very well, then you have to be the one to do the heartbreaking."

"Aw, why him?" the twins whined.

"Yes, why me?"

"It's your plan, I don't trust the twins with that sweet girl's heart, and everyone else finds this plan unethical."

_Sweet girl? You were moping in the corner when she swore at you._

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. Perfect. Now I have to take charge of this plan. I know I'm a Host, but I can't do this. I would never take this seriously. I'll need some time to figure this out.

"Fine, but we cannot initiate the plan right away. It will be too obvious."

"Very well," Tamaki nodded in response.

"This doesn't sit right in my stomach...," Haruhi sighed.

* * *

Arriving home, I tossed my bag onto my sofa and then walked up to my loft and tossed myself onto my bed. I sighed and closed my eyes.

_I have no idea what to do with this plan..._

Lacking inspiration, I turned on my laptop and got onto the school's database and typed in her name. Almost instantly, an image of her and all her bio appeared.

Looking at her picture, I had to admit it; she _was_ quite beautiful. Her long, flowing dark brown hair wasn't kept in a way I'm used to seeing the ladies at Ouran keep it. It seemed so much more low maintenance, but at the same time, so pleasing to the eye. Her eyes were darker than her hair; the darkest shade of brown I've ever seen in my entire life. But despite the darkness of colour, her eyes were bright. Her elegant smile gave off a strong feeling of warmth. And this was just an identification photo. In person, she's much more captivating.

A sudden recollection of our first meeting flashed back to me. The way she removed my glasses just to look into my eyes caught me off-guard, and my heart suddenly stopped in that moment. She's talented, that one. It seems she knows how to please men just as our club knows how to please the ladies. She seems to be developing into a jack of all trades in my eyes.

I skimmed through her bio, and found that on this page, it was just information that was mutually exclusive to her. She's excelled in school ever since she was a young child. Teachers noted her to be heads above other students in her class, and sometimes even above upper-class men. From my own research of her, she was quite popular, not only as a friendly person, but also with the boys. With being popular, she's acquired many enemies along the way. Italian is her native tongue, but she also speaks Japanese and English fluently even though she tends to throw in some Italian words due to force of habit. Throughout all this information, I couldn't find anything interesting until I noticed that all family matters fell under a page that was shared by her and her brother. Clicking the link, a picture of the both of them appeared.

"Twins, huh?" I said to myself as that was the first thing that appeared under the bio.

They were born in Japan, but moved to Italy when they were a few months old, so they were raised Italian. Since they're fraternal, they aren't _identical_, so it's understandable that I didn't realize they were twins at first glance. But on the other hand, they were very similar in appearance. They both had the same deep brown eyes, except Antonio's were not as big and bright as Catarina's. Antonio's hair was also darker than Catarina's as was his skin colour, being more olive like most Southern Italians whereas Catarina is much paler. Both of them looked more Italian than Japanese, though.

Their father's line of work was successful, but didn't strike any chords in me. Their mother, on the other hand, caught my attention. She was the owner of one of the most successful robotics companies in the world. That could be _very_ helpful to the Ootori group...

I caught myself smiling. Perhaps this situation wasn't quite as irritating as I previously assumed. This could reap some major potential benefits: an attractive woman on my arm, a new member for the Host Club, and – possibly – access to a powerful robotics company.

Yes. This is very good.


	3. Trial Basis

"Alright, Antonio," I started with a smile. "Just make sure you do everything as we rehearsed."

He sighed as I added mouse to his hair to make it a little poofier. "Do I _have _to use the lovesick, pussy angle? I'd prefer the ladies' man, or even the punk." He sulked back into the couch as I finished fixing up everything. I could tell he hated every second of this. Stuff like this was never his cup of tea, and to add fuel to the fire, he now has to play a role he despises. I do admit to feeling slightly guilty to using my twin brother for personal gain, but this isn't just for me; it's for the band. And you know what they say: the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the whiney bitch. Obviously, I'm paraphrasing, but the point still comes across.

"Fratello, I don't think these girls are ready for the hardcore stuff just yet. Use the cutesy angle to get in. After you're in, do whatever you want."

Antonio groaned and buried his face into his hands that were propped up on his knees. "I hate you. I hate you so much."

I leaned closer and removed his hands from his face. "Don't say that; you love me," I smiled.

Despite my warm smile, Antonio glared at me.

"Dude, calm down," I sighed. "I'm gonna be right here, assisting your act."

"Do you _have_ to play the concerned little sister?" my brother asked, kissing his teeth. "I'm gonna look like a _huge_ pussy."

"Fratello, these girls won't think that. They'll think it's adorable."

"I don't want to be adorable...," he sighed, yet again, and closed his eyes. He leaned back and hooked his hands together behind his head to cushion his head.

I heard the doors open, and the hosts all chorused a soothing call to the entering guests.

"Welcome, ladies."

My brother opened one of his eyes and peeked through. I gave him a look and he nodded.

"Tamaki, who's that boy seated at the back?" one of the guests asked, referring to Antonio.

"Is he a new host?" another continued.

"Well, he might be. He's on a probationary period, just so we can see if he can be a proper host," Tamaki smiled dashingly at the guests. "If any of you would be willing to sit with him, I'm sure he would greatly appreciate it."

"I see he's already gotten one girl to sit with him," a girl pointed out.

Tamaki turned to look in our direction. "Oh, no. That's his sister."

"Aw, his sister?"

"How cute that she's come to see him."

"Let's go sit with him," the first guest said, tugging the arm of her friend.

As they approached, Antonio and I began our show.

"Fratello, I just worry about you, is all...," I said softly, looking away.

"That doesn't give you the right to enrol me in this club," replied with harsh tone.

"But, An-"

"I don't want to hear it, Catarina. It's none of your business," he hissed, interrupting me.

I turned my head away from him further. "Ever since she left, you've been different... I just wanted to see my brother happy again..."

The callousness in my brother's eyes disappeared and was replaced with a look of concern.

"Hey, Cat...," he placed a hand on my shoulder. "You know just because I don't smile, doesn't mean I'm not happy. I have the best sister in the world. I'm sorry if I worry you."

I turned around and rushed into his arms, crying. He responded by holding me tightly. "Fratello..."

"Shhh...," he hushed me and kissed my forehead. "Everything's okay, sis. I'm fine."

"Aw...," the girls that volunteered to request Antonio squealed slightly.

"He's so sweet to his little sister."

"How adorable. You can tell he really cares about her."

"He must be very protective."

They twittered on as I smiled and whispered into my brother's ear. "Hook, line, and sinker. Go get 'em."

Do I feel any guilt for staging a touching scene to award my brother brownie points with the girls? Hell no. The hosts do worse on a daily basis.

Antonio went to sit back down at a table with sheet music spread out all over it, and focused on tuning his guitar. His focus was so intense that the girls swooned at his dedication to music. He hummed softly to get the tuning right, and in his concentration, he "failed" to notice the two guests standing above him.

"Um, excuse me...," one of the girls said softly to catch his attention.

"Oh," he gasped, looking up at them. "Hello. Sorry, I didn't notice you there. Are you ladies here to sit with me?" my brother asked, smiling at them.

Both of the girls blushed. "Yes, we are," they said softly.

My brother stood up from his chair to sort out the mess he had caused all over the table and some of the chairs. "I'm very happy you girls wanted to sit with me," he told them as he picked up all the sheet music and put them in his folder. He pulled out chairs and invited the girls to sit down, and as they sat, he tucked in their chairs. After he ensured they were comfortable, he took his place at a chair parallel to them. "My name is Antonio. It's a pleasure to meet you, ladies." He smiled uncertainly at them, causing them to blush again.

"He's kind of bland...," Hikaru whispered to his brother.

"But the girls seem to like him," Kaoru replied.

He _was_ trained by me. These hosts may think they know what women want, but they're very blind from the reality of diversity. My brother is a wild-card. He'll be a hit.

"So, Antonio, this is your first time attending school in Japan?" one of his guests asked.

"Sì," he smiled. "Back home in Italy, I went to school, but when I was thirteen, my sister and I moved to America to make it in the music business. So, I haven't been to school in a while. But I'm glad that my first school in three years is Ouran."

The girls giggled and began to whisper to each other.

"He's so foreign and sexy," the first girl squealed.

"And his accent is so hot," the other swooned.

Case in point. My brother has the allure that the others don't; European flair. Tamaki may have lived in France most of his life, but he doesn't set that personality off. Many don't realize at first. But with my brother, it's unmistakeable. And that is why he is found so attractive.

"You know ladies, I was so worried no one would request me," Antonio told them quietly. "I really am so happy such beautiful ladies found me worthy of sitting with." He took a moment to smile weakly at them, but then looked back down to the table. "The other hosts have it much easier than me. They're popular and charismatic. I'm just so plain..."

Personally, I don't approve of the pity route, but these girls are idiots, so I thought it would be fine. A more Western woman wouldn't even look twice if they thought someone was fishing for these compliments, but these girls are so fuelled by their hormones, they are virtually idiotic in every way.

"We think you're very handsome," a guest smiled.

Antonio held back a blush. "Thank you. That means a lot, especially after she – oh, sorry. I almost went off on you."

"What's wrong, Antonio?" the second guest asked.

And now for the final ingredient in this cake of mushy cuteness.

"It's nothing, really. I've just been very under the weather ever since my girlfriend left me...," he sighed. "My sister asked the host club if I could join since she thought it would cheer me up. I always loved to entertain her."

"She left you?"

"She must be stupid!"

"You're so sweet and handsome!"

These girls are like vultures. They cannot resist an attractive boy with a broken heart. Easy pickings. It's quite pathetic, actually.

"Ladies, please," he smiled, holding up his hands. "I should be the one complimenting you. You both are so lovely. It seems wrong of me to just sit back. I don't deserve your compliments."

He rose and leaned over the table and cupped one of the girls' chins and gazed at her. "You have the loveliest eyes."

The girl blushed furiously, but didn't move from Antonio. "N-no, I don't... You're just saying that..."

"No, I mean it," he smiled, sitting back down. "They're so bright. Like the full moon over the Mediterranean Sea back in Italia."

As the girl tried to recover from the sweet gesture, the other guest frowned.

"Oh, bella, please don't think I forgot about you. Your hair is just as lovely. It flows like the breeze in the rolling hills in the country-side and smells as sweet as the fresh crops."

Both the girls swooned as he flashed them a smile.

For the record, I never gave him those lines. Those are way too lame to come from my mind.

"What a loser," Tamaki sighed. "How could he say something so stupid?"

"This coming from the guy going on and on about _melting the in the heat-wave of his love_," Haruhi muttered.

Around now, I thought it would be a good time to initiate the next part of the plan. Sibling love. Nothing like the twins' love. A genuine, caring love.

"Ciao, fratello," I smiled, sitting down next to him.

"Oh, hi Catarina," he smiled back.

"So you must be Antonio's sister," a guest asked.

"Sì," I turned to them and smiled. "Thank you for sitting with my fratello. I worry a lot about him."

"That's really sweet that you worry about your big brother like that."

"Oh, Antonio and I are twins," I told them. "But he _is_ a few minutes older."

"Twins?"

"That's even cuter."

_How is that cuter?_ I thought to myself.

"Fratello, are you showing these girls a good time?"

"Sì. I was just about to sing them a song," Antonio answered, picking up his acoustic.

His guests' eyes lit up in excitement.

"Really?"

"You are?"

"But of course. I originally wrote this piece for my girlfriend, but she dumped me before I got to sing it to her. I thought you two may be more suitable for it." Antonio's smile was sweet and genuine. You could tell he was coming out of his shell. Well, that's the image we wanted to put off. And now, we play our Ace in this game of cards.

Antonio found his position and strummed a few chords and the music roomed filled with the gentle riffs of the acoustic guitar. He then closed his eyes – a staple of his. He usually plays with his eyes closed, but in this case, it made him look more passionate about his music, which sent chills down the guests' spines.

_"Her eyes – her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining –"_

The first of his guests blushed and swooned, remembering his compliment about her bright, moon-like eyes.

_"Her hair – her hair, falls perfectly without her trying –"_  
This time, the second girl who was praised for her hair took her chance to almost faint from my brother's charm.

_"She's so beautiful, and I tell her everyday..."_

By now, a group of girls had crowded around Antonio's table. Her eyes practically took shapes of hearts, and they were teary-eyed.

_"I know – I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me. And it's so – it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see. But every time she asks me 'do I look okay?' I say..."_

Antonio opened his eyes to look at me and he smiled and nodded, inviting me to join in for the chorus. Something not planned by me, but I commemorate his intelligence. A duet with greatly enhance his overall appeal.

_"When I see your face...there's not a thing that I would change. 'cuz you're amazing just the way you are."_

With the inclusion of me in the song, the room fell silent.

_"And when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while. 'cuz girl you're amazing just the way you are."_

As the chorus ended, I left the rest of the song to my brother.

_"You know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change. If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same. So don't even bother asking if you look okay – you know I'll say..."_

Holding the note on 'say' and singing loudly caught the attention of his audience again and he drifted back into the chorus, motioning to me to join him once more.

_"When I see you're face –"_ I chimed in, but to my surprise, I was singing alone, but I continued. _"There's not a thing that I would change. 'cuz you're amazing just the way you are."_

Antonio smiled and began singing, so I gave him his solo in the chorus as the song finished.

_"And when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while. 'cuz girl you're amazing just the way you are..."_

With the final strum on his guitar, the room filled with applause and squeals from the guests.

"That was wonderful!" his first guest exclaimed.

"May we request to sit with you tomorrow?" the second asked hopefully.

A chime of "me too's" flooded the room.

"Ladies, ladies! Please," he shouted, trying to settle them down. "I'd love to, but that all depends." He turned to Tamaki and smiled. "Whadaya say? Am I in?"

Tamaki called all of the hosts together into a huddle to talk it out. After a minute or so of whispers that the twins turned over to make sure no one listening, the circle broke and Tamaki smiled, stretching out his arm.

"Antonio, starting today, you are a host!"

An eruption of squeals broke out as the girls ran to congratulate him. I managed to escape the attack and make my way over to the hosts.

"Well? What did I tell you?" I asked, smiling. "The Rapsodias _never_ fail to please."

"Yes, your brother was quite impressive, but I must say, it was absolutely beautiful when you joined him," Tamaki smiled.

"Thank you," I smiled, taking a bow. "Now, I expect you boys to uphold your end of the bargain."

"Mademoiselle, we are nothing short of gentlemen," Kyoya bowed, taking my hand to kiss it. "We now share the room, as you wished."

"Wonderful," I clapped. "If you excuse me, ragazzi, I am off to get the instruments from our place. Ciao." I waved, blowing a kiss to the group. I noticed the twins blush, and I laughed to myself as I turned and walked off.

_That Kyoya thinks he's hot shit. It'll be a cold day in Hell when I let such a manipulative ass throw me for a loop. I've heard a great deal about you, Ootori. I know you don't do anything without planning on getting something in return. And you may think you've got everything covered, but you don't. You and your stupid club are done for. Our music will be so loud and so powerful, you and your posh simpletons will run away with your tails between your legs. And then the music room will be all mine... I'll see to it. I never fail to impress, after all._

My thoughts were cruel, but this is a dog-eat-dog world, and I've grown quite an appetite for competition. I don't plan on losing this battle. A grim smirk played my lips as I put my hands into my pocket, playing with the keys to our van.

_Then again, better than to just reject him upfront and call him out for his crap, I could go along with it. Yes. Make him feel like he's in a state of security. What girl would sabotage her lover after all? It's perfect. I'll play two sides of the coin. Seems like the player is going to become the played, huh, Ootori? Have I failed to mention that Catarina Honoka Rapsodia__** never **__loses?_

* * *

_Kyoya's perspective_

"Workin' the charm there, eh, Kyoya-sempai?" Hikaru asked in a mocking tone.

"We thought you wanted to take this slow," Kaoru pointed out, snickering at his sempai.

"Well, if I'm going to get her to fall for me, I have to make baby steps," I explained, sighing.

_The only reason I said I was going to take things slow was to find a way to avoid this stupid plan. But now I have something to benefit from this. Whatever I do in regards to the plan is none of their business._

"Trying to get my sister to fall for you, huh sempai?" Antonio asked, approaching the hosts after escaping the swarm of girls. He rubbed lipstick off his cheek from a girl who had snuck up form behind and kissed him. Antonio seems to already be losing the novelty of hosting.

I looked up at him and then back down to my clipboard, where I was doing some basic calculations from the club's efforts today.

"Well, I guess it's for the best if you are. You may not be _exactly_ her type, but you come pretty damn close," he said, sitting down next to Haruhi on the couch.

"Any advice for our little lover boy?" Tamaki asked.

_I'd prefer if you didn't refer to me like that, idiot..._

Antonio shook his head. "Nah. It'll be fun to watch him struggle. But I _will_ give you a warning; Catarina's _never_ been won over by a guy. She's got high standards, so you better be prepared to meet them."

_Please. It doesn't take much to please a woman. A couple of roses, some jewellery, dinner and a dance. Easy as pie. I'll have her in love with me by the end of the month, at most. Everything I do, I excel at. And I don't plan on this hinging my perfect record thus far. _

* * *

_Song lyrics used in this chapter are from "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars._


	4. Phone Call

_I am **so** sorry about the delay. I had stuff to do, and then I wasn't satisfied with the story. After I figured I couldn't do much with this chapter, I decided just to upload it. It'll get better... I'm sorry..._

* * *

"Ciao, belli," I giggled, skipping into our small mansion estate.

The girls were gathered in the den in front of the flat-screen playing video games. At my outburst upon entering, they paused the game and turned around.

"Hi, Catty," Candy smiled, running up to me and hugging me.

"You seem happy," Teri pointed out, observing my radiant smile.

Rayne and Snow smirked and then giggled. "You got it, huh?" they asked in unison.

I winked and flashed victory, starting to giggle myself.

The energy in the room was startling. Everyone's spirits suddenly went sky-high at the good news. The twins high-fived each other and ran to the kitchen to crack out some glass bottles of Coca-Cola and bags of chips as a means of celebration. In less than five minutes, there was a chippery of delicious fried goodies from Doritos and Lays to Miss Vickie's and Fritos. Also, for the sweet tooth in all of us, we had a whole pile of chocolates, fruit-flavoured sweets, cookies and pastries, and sugar-coated gummy candy. Most were American brands since the girls were unfamiliar and uncomfortable with Japanese sweets, but of course, you can never go wrong with Pocky.

"It feels like Halloween," Candy giggled, reaching for a large chocolate bar that was practically calling out her name.

I took a bottle of Coke and used my teeth to pop off the cap. "Girls, we've won a great battle. So let's eat like pigs and enjoy the gifts we've been given."

"We second that," the twins giggled, taking a tray of cookies out of its packaging and placing it in front of them to scarf down.

"Where's Antonio?" Teri asked before sticking a lollipop into her mouth.

I took a moment to burp before answering. "He's with the club. They just wanted to initiate him, I guess."

"So lady-like," Snow laughed, throwing a cookie at me.

"Oh, shut up. No one's here but us," I told her, taking the cookie and eating it.

"Still, your belch was super sexy," Rayne joked, licking a lollipop suggestively.

I looked at her with furrowed brows. "Thanks a lot. Now I won't be able to eat. I threw up in my mouth a little."

"Don't kid yourself, Cat," I heard Antonio say before he jumped over the couch and landed next to me on it. "You couldn't stop eating if you life depended at."

"Were you released by the wild man-whores or did you manage to escape without being bitten and catching their disease?" Snow joked, tossing Antonio a box of Pocky.

"Club hours ended, so I was set free," he laughed, opening the box and putting a stick of Pocky in his mouth.

"Hey Ladies-Man, you've got some lipstick on your collar," Rayne said, making kissy sounds to mock him.

He groaned. "Seriously? I just got this shirt. Those girls are animals." He took a bottle of water and dabbed it on a napkin, trying to wash off the hot-pink marks on his shirt.

"Rawr," the twins chorused. "Sounds like fun. Let us in on the action." They winked, making Antonio blush. When he turned, they laughed at his bashfulness.

It wasn't unknown that the twins found Antonio sexy, but they never tried to spark a relationship with him due to some unwritten American girl code I never understood. But they teased him to no end about it, even though they had no interest in pursuing him. I had to admit, it was very amusing seeing my brother getting bothered like that.

"So, what are my favourite fatties up to?" he asked, regaining his composure.

I slapped him upside the head. "We're celebrating our victory in obtaining Music Room #3."

We heard a tiny burp and turned to see Candy collapsed onto the floor with a content grin on her face, a pile of candy wrappers taller than she lay next to her.

"The girl can party," Antonio laughed as he watched Teri sigh at the sight and began cleaning up after her best friend.

"So, what's the Whores Club like?" Rayne asked.

"They're not whores, Rayne," Antonio sighed.

"You're just saying that because you're an official Whore," Snow replied, wagging her finger in an ashamed manner at my twin.

Antonio rolled his eyes. "They're actually really nice dudes. A few fries short of a Happy Meal, but nice nonetheless."

"Eh, they're 'ight," I shrugged, allowing some American slang to escape my mouth in contrast to the usual Italian.

The twins looked at each other and smiled. "Any major eye-candy?" they asked.

I laughed a little. "We'll they're all pretty good looking."

Rayne and Snow winked at each other. "Excellent. It's always good to have some sexy men to look at while we play."

"Is that really all you two think about?" Teri asked, moving closer to us as Candy started to snore softly.

"One of them's got the hots for our little Pussy Cat," Antonio mocked, taking my hand to kiss it and then using his fingers as glasses. "I'm nothing short of a gentleman, and while we're at it, I'm that short at _anything_," Antonio said in a snobby "rich" accent, winking at his innuendo while making a poor attempt of imitating Kyoya.

I laughed and slapped his knee. "Stop."

"Any brunettes?" Snow asked, opening a bag of Doritos.

"One, but she's a girl incognito," I shrugged.

She sighed and crossed her arms. "Damn it. I never catch a break."

"Any black-haired?" Rayne enquired, looking up hopefully.

"Yup. He's tall, dark, doesn't say much."

"Oh, yummy," she giggled.

Her sister slapped her upside the head. "You slut."

"So, what do you think of the guy with glasses?" Teri asked me, ignoring the twins name-calling session.

"Well, he _is_ handsome...," I muttered.

"Just handsome?" Snow asked.

"Or _haaaaaaaaandsome_?" Rayne finished, fanning herself with her hand.

I took a pillow off the couch and hit them with it.

"Just handsome," I answered, putting the pillow back. "He's pretty smart. A really hard worker."

"_Boring_," they sighed together.

"Shut up. He's a cutie," I told them, rolling my eyes.

If I'm going to make my plan work, my friends have to think I'm into him. If I let them in on the plan, they might blab under pressure.

"It's good that you think that, because I gave him your phone number," Antonio said, smirking.

"_What?_" I screeched. "Antonio, you _ass_!" I punched his arm multiple times as he laughed at me.

"That's what you get for making me do this. Besides, he asked."

"He asked?"

The twins giggled and whispered to each other. I may be kind of girly, but they're on a whole other level.

Suddenly, my phone began to ring. It was resting on the table. I sprinted for it, but Rayne and Snow got a hold of it before me.

_Oh, fuck... This won't be good…_

_Kyoya's Perspective_

I paced around my room a few minutes, looking down at the scrap of paper in my hands that said Catarina's name and then a series of numbers. I had asked Antonio for his sister's phone number just in case I wanted to take my plan into action. But a part of me feels that I'm only ninety percent for my plan, and ten percent of actually talking to her. Maybe only five. But nonetheless, I wasn't at one-hundred.

After much debate, I took out my cell phone and dialled the numbers. Bringing the phone to my ear, I heard the ring chime twice before someone answered.

"_Hello?_" I heard a chorus of two girls ask.

I frowned in disappointment and looked back down at the paper. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong number." _That ass. Planting a fake number on me._

"_Oh, hey sexy,_" one of the girls said, and then giggled.

"_You must be Catty's new boy-toy we've heard so much about,_" another voice said, and she too, giggled.

_A...boy-toy...? _I wondered, quite appalled at their behaviour.

"_Guys, give me my phone!_" I heard another voice shout that sounded like Catarina.

"Oh, are you two friends of Catarina's?" I asked, feeling relieved that I had the right number.

"_You bet, hottie._"

"_So, you were making moves on our little sweetie, huh? We can't accept that from any guy._"

"_Yeah. We want her to be in good hands._"

The two girls giggled as they spoke to me. At this point, I didn't know what to say.

"_So, how 'bout it, stud?_"

"_You gonna treat our little Pussy Cat right?_"

I still was taken back by the girls' behaviour. "Um, may I please speak to Catarina?"

"_Oh, you wanna speak to Catty, huh?_" the two of them chorused again.

By this point, I was rubbing my temples. It was like talking to the Hitachiin brothers.

"_Guys, __**please**__!_" Catarina sighed.

"_Quiet, Catty. We're talking business with your little boy-toy,_" one asked. It sounded like she covered the receiver of the phone.

"_So, cutie, you gonna talk or you want us to hang up?_" they asked, bringing the phone back to their faces.

"Fine, I'll bite," I said, finally giving in. "What do you two want?" My voice was stern. I didn't want to snap at her friends. That's not the best way to get closer to people.

"_Oh, so serious. No wonder she thinks you're cute,_" I heard giggling from the other line as Catarina gasped.

"_Guys! Not cool! Give me the phone!_"

There was a rustling sound, like the girls holding the phone were trying to keep it away from Catarina. There were words being shouted that I couldn't understand. Then I heard a chorus of groans of pain, and then a sigh.

"_I'm so sorry about that,_" Catarina said, sounding quite flustered.

"Hello, Catarina. It's Kyoya Ootori from the Host Club," I told her, smiling to myself.

"_Oh, ciao Kyoya. Come stai? How are you?_" she asked, correcting herself when she spoke in Italian.

"I'm very well. I just wanted to call to ensure your brother didn't give me the wrong number."

"_I'm so sorry about the twins. They like to embarrass me._"

"What was all that about me being your..._boy-toy_ I believe was the term they used?"

"_Antonio told them you were flitting with me and they make things up in their head._"

"I wasn't flirting with you," I said, slightly louder than I should have. It made me sound like I was embarrassed and trying to cover up. Which I was trying to do, but I didn't want to make it that obvious.

"_Oh, you weren't now...?_" she asked, giggling.

"_Cat, stop acting like a skank. You're not fooling anyone._"

"_Shut up!_" she shouted, covering the receiver to muffle her voice.

_I see. She's trying to flirt with me now. Well, I'll play her game._

"So, you find me attractive, do you?" I asked using the suave voice I usually save for the club, hoping to embarrass her.

"_Well, who wouldn't?_" she asked. "_You __**are**__ a very sexy man, after all._"

Well that was a miss. All it did was get me flustered in the process. _Oh, she's good._

I heard her giggle. "_Got ya, huh?_"

"Not quite," I told her, regaining my composure.

"_So, what's the real reason you called?_"

"Pardon?"

"_Oh, don't act so innocent. I know there's a reason._"

"Can a man not just want to talk to his new acquaintance?"

"_Is that all? You just wanted to talk to me?_" Catarina asked sweetly.

"_I'm sure. He wants more than that,_" one of the twins had called out.

The other laughed. "_Bow chicka wow wow._"

"_Just ignore them Kyoya,"_ Catarina sighed. "_They're a bunch of attention seeking whores._"

"_Damn, Kyoya!_"

"_You so __**sexy**__!_"

There was a loud chorus of giggles.

"_Please. Just ignore them._"

I laughed softly. "I'll try."

"_So. What do you want to talk about?_"

"Well, my family is going to a ball hosted by one of our clients, and I was hoping you'd like to join me."

I don't know what it is, but women seem to love the idea of formal gatherings. I assumed Catarina would be no exception, so inviting her to such an event might earn me some brownie points.

"_A ball?_"

"_Oh, you __**fancy**__ huh, Kyoya?_" a twin called out, laughing.

"_Nah, girl. He's dirty, dirty. Some __**nasty**__ things can go down on __**balls**_," the second twin continued, supressing a giggle.

"_Will you two __**shut up**__?_" Catarina growled at them.

I had to sit down. This conversation was much longer than I had anticipated. Now that I've grown used to the twins' outbursts, I found it amusing how Catarina would become so annoyed over them.

"_I'd _love_ to join you, Kyoya,_" Catarina replied, bringing the phone back to her mouth.

"That's great," I said, smiling, even though she couldn't see me. "It's going to be this Saturday evening."

"_I see. Well, I'll be looking forward to it,_" she replied using what I would assume to be a seductive voice.

"_Damn girl. You're like a jungle cat._"

"_Get ready to pounce, girl. Rawr~_"

"Miss Rapsodia, are you trying to seduce me?" I asked, chuckling to cover how flustered I had become. _It's definitely working..._

"_No. Why would you say that?_" She giggled.

_I may have bitten off more than I can chew… The host may become the hosted..._

"Anyway, thank you for accepting my invite. I'll be by at seven to pick you up."

"_Okay. Grazie Kyoya,_" she said softly. "_Have a good evening._"

"You as well, Catarina."

"_Ciao._"

"Bye."

Flipping my phone closed, I went through the conversation in my head.

_I'm making good process._I was complacent in how things were going. She already seems to be attracted to me and is attempting to seduce me.

_It won't be much longer until I win this battle of wits, Miss Rapsodia._


	5. URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Hi everyone; I know it's been a REALLY long time, and I'm very sorry, but I had lost all inspiration for this fic.

I was recently contacted by a fan who wished to adopt it, and I gave her permission to do so. The first three chapters will be the same, as I've instructed her to omit Chapter 4 since I wasn't the slightest bit happy with it. She will probably also change the title.

She and I have similar writing styles, so I hope that you'll enjoy her rendition of this fic as much as you enjoyed mine.

THE DIRECT LINK TO THE NEW HOME OF THE FANFIC IS POSTED ON MY PROFILE

Thank you to everyone who original took interest in this fanfiction, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to finish this fic myself.


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